I don't see how it could have been in winter: If the star was seen at midnight and in Pisces, with the Sun and Moon united and in Virgo
then his birth would have to be at harvest time.
That's when the night is longest and the lamps are lit to keep the dark away.
And his mother must have spent the whole day cleaning: we can see
that stable glowing from the threshold to the walls.
Her precious child will take his birth at midnight when his radiance will make the oil-lamps dim.
Some cloths she's woven wait him in the cradle: it's a manger she has borrowed from those cows.
See them watching her, with interest, while their sweet contented breath
perfumes that space - evoking memories of Gokul while they await
the coming of their Lord, the one who loved to call them with his flute.
And if it was not winter, then, those kings did not endure hardship.
And no-one seemed to see them passing, either on the way or later, when they left.
But we know they paused at Antioch, to ask directions: in the royal court.
They paused to say they did not to know the road to Bethlehem, and yet, their wisdom showed that star they followed signified - a king to rival Herod!
Oh now, we see - it is a play of Krishna to disturb that demon.
Their costumes - rich, with glint of gold of finest silk and jewels,
their exotic beauty and their noble manner - all succeed in stunning Herod's court.
But they left and no-one traced them, not a foot- fall marks where they have been.
We can see them now so clearly when they come into that stable
where they all bow down to Mary
and - how tenderly they each embrace that perfect new-born babe:
In that timeless moment Earth and Heaven overflow with love.
...and again remade it!
Now I have re-made the poem - on Shri Ganesha Chaturthi. I think it is improved a little bit.
thank you Alan, you are right of course about the over - ambition. I began with a desire to refute T.S. Eliot's bleak perspective about the Magi.
And I think the rythms are too ... straining towards the iambs and not quite succeeding in that either - and the lines are too short ... it is only about four years old so perhaps it is too soon.
But it is such a huge subject and I would be interested in seeing others tackle it too.
I saw a facimile of Eliot's notes for a poem where he had invited others to add suggestions in the margins. There was a lot of collaboration in those times.
maybe it is not grounded in a point of view ...
Poetry isn't the same as prose, the latter appeals to the brain, the former to the heart. This is a lovely poem, brave and ambitious - my first reaction is that perhaps it tries to achieve too much, maybe if read aloud it's rhythms can improve? Well done though, it's much appreciated on this Christmas morning.
Thank you Antony. I wanted to include the symbolic gifts of each - gold from Shri Krishna, the sign of a king and frankincense from Brahma for the purity of his life and the mhyrr from Shiva for burying his body, to recognise the sacrifice. But that is another poem in itself, i think, - different rythms.
Lovely Christmas feeling. Love, light and peace.