White drops descending
From Heaven's Gate.
In solitude monks speak
Of a rushing river
Kept in rugged mountains, lofty hills.
In the reflection of every drop
A wanderer does stride
From the sky to Earth.
Seeking for a jewel
For a flower and stone,
Hidden from sight and mist.
As clear rain glistens upon leaves,
Its song gathers clouds and light.
And, in the morning of the Clear Rain,
A Mother gowned in white walks.
She takes the hand of every drop.
In solitude, Her Children would speak
Of a rushing river
Kept in eyes immaculate. Higher vision.
The Little Poet bows. That is image to cherish.
Ah, the elders speak! To the light of their Spirits does this little poet bow, seeing greatness within their depths. The Mother of All indeed is in joy when Her Children communicate unto each other like Sages of Life. May we continue to share knowing that our true existence is awakened.
To Uncle Richard: It is so beautiful, Uncle Richard, that you continue to make connections between these words and the words of Samuel Coleridge (whose work this poet has not even read yet), it is only the Spirit and the Divine that makes these connections.
About the correction, yours was the exact one that was written the day this poem was born. It has been a few weeks since that silence and spontaneity reigned within Autumn rain, therefore my small memory forgot some of the poem. "In solitude monks speak" were the words written in ink upon pages.
To Uncle Allan: This poem was created on a morning when rain sang atop the roof of the writing room, wind supported its wings, and geese called below clouds. Yet, the Divine made it so that the geese did not beat its wings and fly their ways into this poem! Maybe some other day! It has been nature for me not to think about my poems, but now that it was brought to my attention by an elder, here is an explanation: the word 'kept' is used in this poem to reflect a philosophy of Chinese Poetry (from which most of these poems take their birth). In this tradition of Poetry (Shan-Shui) any child of the Force of Nature is seen to be alive. Starlight is a seeker, mountains are sages, wind is a messenger. So, reflecting this sense, 'kept' is used to take mountains and lofty hills above Maya and in to the realm where they personify human qualities. (Personification). For example, there is a poem written by the Tang Poet 杜甫 which is literally translated as 'Autumn Sighs.' Chinese Poetry (and the language in general) has a vague sense of time, and therefore, they used poetry to attain Nirvichara in nature. This makes poetry effortless. And when we have the Mother of the Universe before us all the time, what else can meditation, music, and poetry be but effortless.
I like this too, very much. It has a universality about it which is appealing. I suspect if you keep looking at it over time, you'll see ways of improving it further. I found work "kept" a bit grating in that white drops aren't kept in the mountains and hills. Maybe I misunderstand the intention? An excellent effort RIshi, well done.
This is so timeless, otherly, without place.
I think of Xanadu in Samuel Coleridge’s poem, properly called “Kubla Khan; or, A Vision in a Dream: A Fragment.”
I suggest one change, the third line: in solitude monks speak